Marco my words

For the past few days I have been held, against my will, and forced to watch a reality TV show called Hells Kitchen.

Normally I wouldn't bother to blog about it unless of course there was a murder or some newsworthy item issuing from the screen. Normally I would be rabbiting on about Pavaroti or Petreuas or Brown or Howard or Bush but today I have a much simpler subject in mind. Bullies.

For those of you who are not able to watch the show the premise is simple: there is a Michelin stared chef called Marco Pierre White - who is actually English - and a bunch of celebrities from third rate shows on British TV. They all live and work together and learn to cook some posh dishes like turbot with orange.

As ever in these things there are personality clashes and the ensuing tantrums make the show entertaining. I mean to say if you have seen one turbot seen them all. TV needs conflicts.

Last nights show however was different. I won't go on about the build up but there are some pertinent fact to glean here:

1. Comedian Jim Davidson is on the show. He was dispatched from most TV shows in the 90's because of his racist / sexist humor. He now makes a living on the stage acting in pantomimes and the like.

2. Brian someone was a contestant in UK Big Brother. He is a TV presenter now and is one of those personable gay men that populate British TV these days - Dale Winton, Graham Norton, Huw Edwards etc (not Huw but no one reads this so what's the problem?)

Last nights show was the culmination of a weeks testing, teasing and tantalising tantrums. In many ways it is an interesting reflection on the human condition.

In one segment we were exposed to the mighty chef as he stalked deer through the English countryside. He walked with purpose through fields in the early morning mist; dew lay lightly on the ground, a roe deer raised his head and sniffed the still air and Marco shot it stone dead. Along with his cohort he then dragged the bleeding carcas across a field whilst explaining that he was about to eat the heart and liver for breakfast.

Now ordinarily that would have been enough for most of the tabloids to tear into the show.
Potential Headlines? Well you can make up your own but try these ones for now:
OH DEER! (Express)
Hannibal's got a lot to learn (Guardian)
Roe-st this cruel chef. (Independent)
ANNEKA's SEX SHAME (Sport)
CARNAGE ON PRIME TIME (Sun)
Piers My Heart (Mirror)
MARCO's a KEEN MARKSMAN (Daily Mail) (and a picture of the chef with a gun sight on his forehead no doubt)
SUB PRIME WOES HIT BANKING SECTOR (Financial Times)

The left leaning papers would have followed their headlines with a demand to have him filleted and served freshly on a bed of fava beans by tea time. The right wing press would have provided the venison recipe and we would all have wasted hours by the drinks machine debating vegitarianism.

BUT NOT LAST NIGHT! OH NO! BECAUSE THERE WAS HOMOPHOBIA IN THE AIR.

Now before you think I am about to defend sexist and demeaning language and attitudes I am not. However on this instance I must say that I saw an indefensible case of workplace bullying.

Three or four of the contestants had been picking on each other all week. I think a lot of it had to do with preconceived notions about the other people - none more so than Jim Davidson. True he did act dreadfully at times and his language was less than charming but when he was confronted with his misdemeanors he was contrite and albeit clumsily he apologised profusely and often.

Jim Davidson is a throwback to another era and in many ways he is from an entirely different culture from the one most "media visible" people inhabit. His constant references to "shirt-lifters and poofs" did him no favors but let me say that he clearly had no idea that he was being so offensive. In fact his continual questioning and comments led me to think that perhaps he would actually like to know more about these things than he let on.

There is a taboo for men above a certain age where homosexuality is dealt with by ignoring it or beating up the proponents. However the majority of men are simply not exposed to homosexual life at all. They simply have no idea how to react when the standards of etiquette are altered, any more than they could deal with being deposited in a Hindu festival where they were to lead the worship. Of course they are defensive / aggresive and crass. They think that is the best response because it is the only response they know. Unless they understand how on earth are they going to react any differently?

Last night we witnessed the spectacle of Brian (token gay) and two other young and attractive women as they systematically destroyed the old fart by crying, haranging and wilfully misinterpreting any attempts to defuse the situation. They took the battle into the homophobes arena and outmaneouvered him. It was brutal, pointless and pathetic to watch.

The main battle ran as follows:
Protagonists sit around a round table and drink wine despite dehydration, fatigue and continual TV. recording.
Brian sits next to Jim and starts to direct his opposite numbers to engage in skirmish attacks. "Jim you are a pig" etc
(classic softening up from the artillery)
Brian pointed put that "shirt lifter" is abusive. Jim tried to defend himself and was pulled up for it. Rightly so. (Heavy mechanised armour)
Brian and the girls began to cry ( air strike) and hug and bond ( massed ranks of infantry) in a demonstration of affection and solidarity that was clearly meant to intimidate and isolate Jim. They succeeded.
Bewildered Jim brought up the idea that he was not intrinsically homophobic and that GAY meant Good As You.
Howls of anguish, disbelief and anger from Brian et al.
"GOOD AS YOU! I AM BETTER THAN YOU!"
(Tactical nuclear weapon)

So it went on.

If you look at this dispassionately you will see that the hysteria and mass persecution of Jim was in no small part due to the preconceived and noxious notions about who he is.

"I Think he is a bigot therefore he is a bigot."

But perhaps he wants to change. Perhaps the persecution and bullying are what will drive him to truly believe he is a homophobic, misogonist bigot.

Perhaps bullying like this is what drives people to extremes and extremism.

No one came out of last nights show a winner and yet somehow it reflects how we all act, react and function.

WE are all beasts of passion and flaws.
WE are all idiots and inspirational.

I hope from watching this episode I have learnt this lesson if none other: Mistakes are there to be made but intransigence, hatred and blinkered self interest benefit no one.

Over to you: Iraq, Palestine, Darfur, Chad etc

I have learnt a lesson from two of the most vapid humans in the world. I must stop to listen for a second. I might learn something.