6 posts tagged “idiots”
It looks like the debauchery in Paris was just the latest example of the wandering bastard Prince having a good time without thinking about his public image. If only he had learned something from his mother! She knew how to have a good time and only get caught on camera post-mortem.
The news today is that an "undisclosed member of the Royal family" has been caught on video engaged in an orgy of drugs and sex.
There are 2 men in jail who claim to have evidence of the "undisclosed royal" with his pants down and a line of gak smeared all over his face.
The stupid thing is that they tried to use it to blackmail Buckingham Palace for the princely sum of £50 000. Of course the equerries involved got in touch with Scotland Yard and they blew the deal wide open.
I am not going to comment on the foolish wandering hands of the "undisclosed royal" but I have to say that £50K is a pathetic sum and for that alone they deserve incarcerating. Especially when you consider the Queen is worth £2 billion plus, Di's family are landlords of a huge estates in the MIdlands and Prince Charles owns half of Western England.
Are these men insane, deluded, poverty stricken, pro-royal or just badly informed?
Listen fellas, if you are going to blackmail the German pretenders to the crown at least make it worth your while.
If you remember the TOE JOB incident with Fergie you may be surprised to know that the photographer who got those shots made well in excess of $1 million for one picture.
I really wish they had come to me. I could have lined them up with Max Clifford, had a few grainy stills printed in Paris Match. Then we could have called ol' Rupe in New York and had the Post run the story for a tidy sum, whilst syndicating it through AFP and pretending it was in the "public interest". Then they could have had a nice slot on Oprah and a pasting on the O' Reilly report before ending up with a nice condo in Panama and free flights for life on Libyan Arab Airlines.
The news is not that there are a few blue bloods with white noses but that there are still people out there who are so media unsavvy that they don't know a goldmine when it lands on their neanderthal craniums.
"Ladies and gentlemen - the latest round of Royal Celebrity death match presents - in the blue corner BONE HEAD WINDSOR AND HIS GAGGLE OF INBRED FLOOSIES and in the red corner STEVE AND HIS MATE DAVE FROM ONGAR. WORLD CLASS MORONS."
What is even more dumb is that the Royals have had these men prosecuted. Now the story is out and no one wins from it. Except perhaps the real son of Di, but he is in the running for the throne anyway so what does he get out of it apart from a chance to bypass his useless father and stuff his "brother" into a small room in Windsor when he acceeds?
Is that the real story? Is this just a simple way to shuffle Charlie out of line and get the handsome Willy in the hot seat before Grannie Liz snuffs it?
(Don't laugh - these people are ruthless - that's why they are Royal. Remember your history; the best double dealing killer gets the throne. Their right to rule depends on the fact that they inherit their evil genes and as a result of our cowardice we are expected to bow down and grovel at the feet of the great grand daughter of a mass murderer...nice!)
Mark my words... this one will run and run. (Maybe it's all the coke they sniffed.)
Yesterday morning the Pentagon made their daily report to President G W Bush about the situation in Iraq.
"Mr President", began the raporteur, " the war is not going well. We have taken some heavy losses in Falujah and Bagdad and I am sorry to have to tell you that last night we lost 3 Brazilian men in Samarah."
The blood immediatly drained from President Bush's face and his knees began to shake as he assessed the damage to his campaign and political legacy.
"This is not good General. Not good at all," said the President in an unusual burst of clarity.
"I am going to have to make an announcement on TV tonight. The people will want to know what happened."
"YES SIR."
"Okay, set that up with all the networks and get me the CIA chief. I need to make sure that we handle this properly."
"YES SIR." said the General and assuming those were his orders he turned to leave the room. As he reached the door the President called out.
"General. Before you leave.... Exactly how many zeros are there in a Brazzillion?"
(*And you wonder why the war is a mistake?)
Once again the idiots of fundamentalism have tried to kill ordinary civilians. Black, White, Asian, Christin, Muslim and others without any idea who their potential victims would be. How stupid!
Two men in a jeep rammed the airport in Glasgow at 3pm and then tried to throw petrol bombs at the passengers.
They were over powered by the police and it looks like no one was hurt apart from the attackers.
GOOD!
Inept, desperate and stupid, the attackers will no doubt prove to be minor bit players.
"Chatter" in the intelligence world has suggested that something would happen soon and after Haymarket this is just another example of how easy it is for talk to become reality. It is also a good indicator that the security services are doing a good job.
If the best these morons can do is to try and mount suicide campaigns with petrol bombs it doesn't say much for the organisation behind any of these attacks.
No doubt there will be others but they will be as pointless and hopeless as the most recent attacks.
We have nothing to fear.
A few twats with a grudge should not alter our lives one iota! Like the skinheads before them these are fascists without any idea of what to do. They are just thugs with a desperate need to be famous.
By living our lives as normal our spirit and resolve will crush them before they have even begun.
Stay safe.
EVIL IN DIAPERS
Jesus!
have you heard about those two psycotic nut jobs called Prussian Blue?
We just heard about them and their insane campaign to make music white. What the hell is going on there?
In case you have never heard of these two they are members of some whacked out conspiracy group that likes to think that they belong to a distinct genus of humans known as the "master race". Correct me if I am wrong but didn't the master race come last in 1945? They opened a big can of whoop ass called the REST OF THE FUCKING WORLD! and were sent to meet their makers at Nuremberg. Get over it.
Do me a favour dearies - go back to school and learn something useful like genetics. That way you will discover that there is about a 1% difference between us and monkeys and a zero percent difference between you and a nice man called Jesus. Thats is what's so endearing about them. They think Jesus was white. How sweet. Lets think shall we?
Jesus never met a Christian - there were none then. Ergo Jesus was not a Christian.
Jesus came from Nazareth which is now in the Occupied Territories and is populated by Arabs.
Arabs are not white. Therefore you worship a "black guy."- ergo a "rag head" OOOPS.
Jesus said you cannot serve both God and Money. HE DID - NO MATTER WHAT PAT ROBERTSON TELLS YOU! So stop fund raising and spending it on braces to make your teeth perfect. You are supposed to be perfect already. Weird how some of us have naturally perfect teeth and you don't. Flunked out there as well.
I bet you that by the time these two are 20 they will either be junkies or pregnant with Michael Jacksons twins. Relax kids. Your mum will look after them.
How bored must they be to have all this rubbish in their heads. I recommend hard drugs. That way I could have some sympathy for their lunacy. Meanwhile here is a message to all racists.
FUCK OFF! WE WON!
One of the things about getting older is that you never think twice about being bad. Either you are or you aren't. It's a choice you have already made when you were about 15 and it is not going to change.
There are some people though who seem to think that a piece of plastic and picture are somehow going to alter your DNA.
Take last week.
I was at a big festival On Caxton Street where AS WE ARE were playing a set and so were Intercooler. Bloody excellent. Just in country, sunshine, mates and beer. Nothing better.
So in the midst of 30 000 revellers I made my way to a beer stall - the place is hopping like 6th St Austin during sxsw or Glastonbury 10 years ago. All good.
The girl at the tent tells me I can't buy beer without a wrist band. Okay. So go to the white tent inthe middle of the street and they will give me one.
Off I go. After a few minutes of doing that weird little dance that we all do in crowds - you know the one - turn side on - put your arm between people - bend knees, slidddddeeeee, stand, shuffle and repeat- I got to the tent which was manned by a youth with knock knees and a severe case of superioritis.
" have you got any ID" says Spotty Herbert
"I have got my credit cards but I didn't bring my passport, No."
"Can't give you a band then."
"Are you kidding me?"
"Whats your date of birth?
"My what? " I nearly pissed my pants laughing. Nobody has asked me that in 10 years.
"I would tell you that but you wouldn't believe me."I said. "Don't these flecks of grey in my hair give the game away?"
"What is your date of birth?"
I told him and he looked at me with disbelief ; " I look this young because I have spent the past 20 years pickling myself from the inside. "
"No one was born then: he said - absolutley seriously. Now you know why he was in the tent instead of at the party.
"Listen snot nose. I was born before your dada and I am still alive and well. Now give me the fucking band and let me get a beer!"
Thats when a nice copper came up and put the band on my wrist.
"Bloody idiot!" she said to me with a smile.
Thats when you know you made the right choice all those years ago and ID cards are just an excuse to rort more money out of us so that imbecilic youths can get a job.
Suffice to say I got really pissed, started 5 fights and robbed a liquor store on the way home where I beat my wife and shot the dog.
A good night out all round.
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