2 posts tagged “new business”

So here is how it works in practise guys,
the real deal.

This is what credit scoring, assessment and the bloody idiocy of computerised banking has led to today!

We got new credit card machines this week - 3 of them despite the fact we only asked for 2 but that is fine.

So all going well and then a call from our friendly bank manager. The very man who called the day before to make sure we received our machines.
It went like this:

"Do you do tour operations?
"duh, well yes, we are a tour operator"
So... uh,,,, we thought you sold beer.
We do.
But you sell other things
Yes
like what?
Like tours.

OK.

One hectic d ay later and £X000 banked into our account and the bank calls back

You banked £X000.
I know
What for?
Duh,.... sales.

Of what?
Tickets.
Oh......

Any travel.
No. F1 tickets to the Grand Prix.

Right then we are withdrawing your facility.
WHAT!
We are refunding the sale.
WHAT!!!

Why?

We didn't know you sold tickets?
We are a travel operator and we do events. Of course we sell tickets! What fucking difference does that make?

Lots. You have 2 choices. We can keep the funds for 180 days or pay them back to your clients.

180 days!!
What business can survive 6 months without getting paid?
If I am one fucking day late your guy in Mumbai is on the phone asking when I will be able to "bring my balance back in order" so now you want me to wait 6 fucking months for goods we have paid for and delivered?

Fucking great.

So, we sell goods and you stop us after they have been dispatched AND refund the customer...  is that the deal?

Yes

"Fuck you and your mother.
And I am not paying for the damn machines either."

"You have to send them back to the issuer."
Who is that then?
It is on your agreement.
Don't you know?
No
So you know exactly how much I owe, who my Mother is, the name of my dog and the address of all of my friends, relatives, aquaintances, the size of my dick and my sexual pecadillos but you don't know where to send your own machines to?

No.

What the fuck are you people on?

Talk about making life impossible.

I detest banks now. Totally, utterly and incontroveribly hate them.
DO NOT TRUST THEM!
Keep your wonga in cash and let them bleed to death.

The reason we are in recession is because of them.

They are the poison we all breathe and we need to do something about it!

Do you seriously think we will get out of this mess with them in charge.

Not a hope in hell my friends. It is up to us now and let them drown in their own spreadshits.

This credit crisis is really winding me up! I am working twice as hard as before for zero money. I mean zero.

The thing is, I have decided that I have just about had enough of chasing round after Simon Cowell and his cohorts in the never ending battle between good and evil. The music business has sucked me dry and I want out.

Well, actually I don't want out but I am too long in the tooth and too bored by yet another boy / girl / rehashed 1979 punk / be bop / metal / B&R (sic) band to get excited by much anymore. 

I know I have heard a heap of stuff in my many years on this planet but I still want more. I want excitement and frankly with a few exceptions I haven't heard a major label release that has any merit since the White Stripes. Even that is a bit old hat in some ways. Indie labels are doing great things but no one cares or hear them and the world if filled with wannabe bands who can't wake up and get out there and help themselves. So as the Dragons say, I'm out!

Time for a change.

As an alternative I am in the middle of setting up a new venture. A travel company. A specialist travel company.
No.
Before you ask we don't do bespoke trips for billionaires.

This is indie travel with a twist.

I am doing el cheapo deals to some of the places I have visited and loved.

I am going to take as many people as I can to parties across Europe.
Fun for its own sake. No excuses. Life is for living. Those of you who have read what kind of a year 08 has been for me will understand why.

I have already lined up some killer trips to exotic venues like Munich, Dublin, Terschelling, Pamplona, Reyjavik and Pamplona. Plus as many Formula 1 Grand Prix as I can manage. Why not?

Crack a tube guys.
Stop cracking the sads.
Time to get away from all this paranoid misery.
Be contra cyclical.
Glass half full?
Fill it up!

I am calling the new venture PUMPKIN TOURS!

There.
You heard it here first.

We launch in a major way in January but if you would like to have a look and maybe tell me where I have gone wrong please link through.

Love it or hate it. I'd be happy to hear your comments.

Pumpkin Tours

Thanks
and keep the faith

Just a few days until we get rid of the Great Satan for a while!!

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