2 posts tagged “silverstone”

It has been a fuck fest since Silverstone Formula 1 guys.
The shows went really well and the crowd loved it all.
6000 folks in total but what a manic week that turned out to be.
Tons of folk but no one was spending enough which really hurts the bottom line.

I have been trying to figure out why that is and I have some juicy theories.

Since the race we have fought to pay all the bills and keep the new ideas coming in and thankfully we are 90% through it all now. Not easy but we are almost there.

Anyhow, this new business stuff has me thinking and learning lessons that I thought I knew from my past 20 years as a self employed maverick. But apparently the rules are totally changed.

It seems that it is no longer enough to make, create, sell and move on any more. Apparently we all need to have our anal sphincter muscles extended, manipulated and then forcibly re-engineered just so we can stay in exactly the same state we were in previously.

Here is how it works. It is a fantastically complex process called Banking.

What you do is this:

Give all your money to a faceless organisation with nice logo and very expensive shops
Then they keep your money forever.

That's it.

Sometime you get a small piece of plastic and a cheque book but mostly you just get a bill every month for their services!

They won't give your money back unless you are able to offer things you don't have in exchange for things you don't want like insurance that doesn't pay or credit cards that are refused every time you use them for "security checks".

These "security checks" make you look like a criminal and often lead to you being stuck in a que with a bag load of groceries and no way to get to fix it without wasting 3 hours and eighty thousand key strokes on your mobile to an automated operator who cuts you off before you have reached the "Press 21891721979 for security option."

The reason they need security checks is because a  10 year old kid with a Nintendo can break their systems and they are scared you may actually be spending some of their money somewhere else. Remember it is theirs now, not yours!
 
If they do give your money to anyone it goes to the worst possible, drug dealing, unemployed lazy shit for brains criminal to buy a crap house in a foreign country (ie America) at an extortionate rate of interest and when he doesn't pay them back they ask you for your money again so they don't have to feel poor or go out of business and the shyster in downtown Miami walks off into the sunset Scott free.

No keys, No fees.

In the rest of the world we have to pay our debts but apparently the USA is once again a special case. Hand in the keys and it is all over. No wonder every poverty stricken crack head in the third world wants to live there.

So my chums,
this is what I have been doing all these months. Setting up the Legends of Formula 1 Festival at Silverstone next week.

It has taken a year to get the licences and acts in place and longer than that to funds it all and I haven't bored you with it because, as ever with these things, it cold all have gone belly up at any time.
BUT NOW IT IS ON!

4 days of frivolity and mayhem at the British Grand Prix.

My God there is a fortune invested in it and not just in time. Effort, worry, resources of all kinds. My reserves are depleted. It has been like waging a war.

Please do me a favour and spread the word to all petrolheads over the globe.

The line up includes, THE STIG, Murray Walker, Vicki Butler Henderson, Bobby Davro, 20 bands, DJ's, Comedians and 3 of the biggest bars the world (or me anyway) has ever seen. I've laid on Grid Girls and raffles and god knows what else and all of it is for you my friends.

If anyone is coming over on June 18 - 21st come and find me and mention the word "tweenie" and they'll win a free drink.

So hurry up, get up to Silverstone and join me in the mother of all hangovers!